I pray that my writing will be a blessing to someone. I continue to work to live in to the present moment. Earlier in the week I said my morning prayers and wrote in my journal and had determination to look to God each moment in my day. Less than an hour later, both my daughter and I were in tears after a painful interchange. I realized that I can have the best of intentions but unless I continually open myself to God and am praying through every interchange, I flounder. It was not enough to be centered and pray at the beginning of my day, though I am sure that helped. I need to carry my intention, and breathe God into every situation, every word, every action in my day.
I also discovered that I am very hard on myself if I feel like I failed to love someone as I am called. I spiral into a cave of sadness, heaviness, darkness. While there, I found myself comforting myself...."It's okay....it's okay....you are loved." It was my own voice, but truly the voice of God, like a mother soothing her crying child. This love soaked into me, and I felt better.
I would like to be transformed beyond my reactionary nature, but while God is working on me, live into forgiveness and acceptance of myself. Transformation of the world starts with me.
